How to Reverse Engineer Your Goal

I think everyone is a dreamer. Everyone wants to give something, make something, contribute something. But then “life” gets in the way, we get busy with meal batching, working, cleaning, and being with the fam. There isn’t a lot left over for our ambitions. So we tuck them neatly into a box and put it up on the freshly Marie Kondo’d shelf for later.

But there your dreams remain, collecting dust while all the other things keep directing our lives.

Talking to people about their dreams is one of my favorite things to do. When you say, “okay, okay, but what do you really want to do?”

They pause for a second. They get a little nervous like they are even afraid to say the thing out loud. Finally, apologetically, they say what they really want to do. It’s their passion, their hobby, the thing they do even for no money. Then I see their energy change. Lights come on. Their body opens up, shifts in a way that tells me they are, for a moment, allowing the dream out into the open.

That’s my favorite.

But then they quickly follow it up with a “But I know it’s totally impractical. When would I find the time? I don’t have anyone to watch the kids.”


“It’s way too much for me right now. I don’t have training.”


“I don’t have the time.”


“Someone else can do it. It’s not really for me.”

Then they deflate and go back to whatever they were doing before. The dream goes back in the box.

But I want to help keep the box out. I’ve had my fair share of dreams. They started small, like

  • Afford my own place

  • Be able to pay all my bills

Once I'd tackled those few, then they got bigger:

  • Buy a new couch out of pocket

  • Adopt a plant

  • Have babies

Until they are at where I am now:

  • Write content to help people organize, plan, dream, and feel great about themselves

  • Hire a coach