An off-handed comment, a sideways look, or a following the wrong bunny trail on social media. Bad vibes are everywhere out there. In order to keep your energy vibrating as high as possible, it's key to be able to adopt a different frame of mind. Negativity and all the things that come with it, while might be directed at me in the moment are little water droplets I allow to flow past me and land outside my sphere. They barely touch me. This happens to me all the time… and it is how I’ve gotten a reputation as “the happiest person” someone knows or “the jasmine candle” of a group, or having “the patience of Job.”
Today, I am getting into how I achieve this level of peace in my life.
When you're trying to find balance in your energy and protect your attitude for the day it’s really important to manage external influences. Everything from social media to email to the workplace to personal social Sears, it's all impacting us. We are social creatures by Nature so it's completely natural that we seek positivity and affirmation. We seek to belong and we want to make others happy. Sometimes that means at the expense of not being authentic to ourselves and approving of and participating in activities and things that don't align with our true selves. Not only does this soul-suck, but it actually robs you of your purpose in life. You're trying to be something you're not and in doing so not being true to yourself. Ultimately, you're not making an impact and your next big thing keeps slipping further away.
Let’s dive in to a few areas of your external world that are affecting your authentic self… your Confidence and your Personal Power! We're going to talk about reframing what others say to keep external communication that we're getting in check on a daily basis. Then we're going to talk about reframing how you think of yourself and your capabilities. This one is huge because this is that inner bully that keeps you small and keeps you scared and keeps you thinking that you're not enough. We're going to eradicate that in this episode! And finally, we're going to talk about reframing the situation that you find yourself in.
So first things first...
Have you ever come away from a remark or comment that left you overthinking it, dwelling on it, obsessing until it totally eats up your otherwise happy mood?! It makes your productivity come to a screeching halt! Have you ever shut down your social media app after tumbling down a rabbit hole, only to come out the other side wondering what you just watched? Then you just feel “off” for a while? Negativity comes to us from every angle and if left unchecked, has the opportunity to impact us with so many interactions every single day. It can either derail you, or you can learn to rise above and draw positivity from it.
Let’s face it, some situations we can’t simply avoid. When you can’t avoid these people or situations, it’s important to be able to reframe how you process the message and where you let it land in your mind.
Keep these things in perspective:
They are only thinking through their own experience and from their own limitations.
How big is this issue, really...compared to your overall goal in business or personal life?
The world is big and all of us have a role to play to make our little corner a better place. That should always be in focus and the moment we allow someone else’s limitations in we’ve done everyone in our lives (including ourselves) a disservice.
Always remember “Nos” are not a personal rejection!
When you request something from someone: a collaboration, a sponsorship, project, or a new job and the answer isn’t “Yes, absolutely” there is a reason. Operate with this in mind: there is a season and time for everything.
Create the life you want!
As simple or big as you want. But start now, start today and be the person you hope to be one day. Make “one day” today! Continuously do the work and play that makes you the person and professional you want to be. Don’t wait for “when I make xx amount, I’ll get healthy” or “when I get that job or move to that place then I’ll start doing whatever it is.’
Be waaaay too focused on your goals to give negativity any thought.
When you hear it/see it, you can only spend a second digesting. Because that’s all you’ve got; one second. Then you’ve crumpled it up and tossed it over your shoulder into a trash can. And the more you think about it, the faster you will talk yourself out it!
This automatically establishes boundaries in your life. You almost don’t have to sit down and make a list of “off limits” topics/people. They just begin to not fit within your life anymore!
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR IT, SO...
NO, HATERS. YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US.
I really want to leave you with this… We all get messages coming in from all directions. From the moment we wake up and grab for our phone, or flip on the TV, to going to work and interacting with others all day, to spending time with family or friends, to scrolling on our favorite apps. The list goes on and on. There isn’t a lot we can do to stop the messages. So, if you want to remain in society and not be a hermit off the grid, we have to take the power away from others and own what we allow into our sphere. We take the ownership back of how we process and frame the messages. We assume good intent and we operate from a place of abundance, a full charge, and the knowledge that there is enough for everyone.
At the end of the day, how we choose to respond and stand in a challenging moment affects our energy, our countenance, our vibe. That, in turn, has an effect on how we move forward through our day and whether we get de-railed or stay on task and power forward!
Remember we want to keep the negativity in perspective and know that when people have limiting comments and negative things to contribute, it’s coming from their own journey. Remember that No’s aren’t Nevers and they create space and room for you to keep creating, working, and contributing with full autonomy and passion. Your season will come! Remember to create the life you want now and do not wait until future whenever. Your ideal life starts today! When we refocus on what makes us light up and we don’t wait for permission from someone else, we become driven individuals and no longer hold space for negativity. It doesn’t fit into our lives anymore. What thoughts have been holding you back? What can you reframe to power forward?!