Updated: Apr 1, 2019
With the word at your fingertips, there is no excuse to not be surrounded by people that will challenge you and life you up.
For me, living states away from all my friends, I turned to the internet for this. Podcasts are a treasure trove of strong, intelligent, and savvy women who offer up free help and support, content to help you grow personally and professionally. Instagram, YouTube, Podcasts are all my destinations of choice to find inspiration and long-distance mentorship.
Finding mentors online
This one might sound weird to some of you. You might wonder… shouldn’t you seek a mentor who you know? And I’d tell you… sure! If you have access to someone who you already gel with and you loves fielding your questions and whom you collaborate with well.. Absolutely! 100%
For me, I found this difficult for reasons. What is amazing is you do not have to know someone personally for them to have a profound impact on your life.
Think of a book that changed your life… or a scene from a movie… chances are you did not know the author of that book, or the director or actors from that movie. But sometime about that work spoke to you and it stayed with you, maybe even informing the rest of your life.
The internet is one of my favorite places on earth because it is full of amazing people you can be connected to on social media platforms. Since IRL mentors, for me, were difficult to come by (or at least mentors in a certain area), this is where I find great inspiration. I have literally found someone scrolling through Instagram who changed the trajectory of my life. A few people actually. Amazing women you are high vibing at a level I want to be at… And you know what? The more I focus on these high energy people, the less time I have for self-doubt or worry or boredom. Being around motivated, engaged women on the move makes me one too.
So I want to encourage you, if you can’t find a real-life person who will support you at the highest level you want, look in an unexpected place for one. Instagram is a great place. (Omg, my pre-teen self is screaming at me to not talk to strangers on the internet.)
You’ll find one if you’re trying. You’re mind is like the Instagram algorithm: in your mind, what you focus on expands; in Instagram, what you click on is logged and then referred to when the platform is deciding what to show you. In other words… like if a mirror and a magnifying glass had a baby...
Look to who you already know
You may not, and I sincerely hope you don’t, need to start from scratch.
You probably have a good friend or two; an amazing significant other, boss-babe roommates from college, a mom, an aunt, a scout leader, a co-worker in your life who feels like a ray of sunshine.
These people are on your inner circle list. Include anyone who want you to succeed. Feel empowered to bring them into your world; if you have been reserved in sharing your dreams or goals, do it! Whether its 5 seconds in a break room or you go out for coffee or you shout it over the electro music in spin class, tell them!
They have got your back. Saying it outloud makes your dreams more real. Telling them to someone else makes you accountable. It’ll keep you on track.
Separate from energy vampires
This one can certainly be a challenge. What if you’re receiving negativity from a significant other, a close family member or friend? It is difficult to separate from these people.
Think about boundaries.What is okay to discuss… and where is the line?
Identify what is too far and what will suck the energy from you. Find an appropriate time and setting to bring it up with them, if it is possible. You can either be direct with them, if you are able (this is always the best option; if you are dealing with someone who truly loves you, they will understand, even if they are a little upset) or tell them what you’d like to talk more about… bringing the focus to areas that won’t bring you down.
There are those relationships, however, that are not with a close family member or friend where it is easier to separate. Moving forward, you want to only include light and positive energy, so think about the situations and places where you run into your energy vampires. Since these people aren’t close to you, you may not need to have a special conversation; it may be enough just to avoid them.
Is it online somewhere? Work? The gym? A book club? You can either avoid these people by blocking their account, choosing a different time of day to work out… so on.
When you increase the energy and support of the people who interact with most often, you're going to find, just like I did, that you’re breaking out of a rut, you’re becoming inspired, you have new ideas, and goals. And because you’re around people who are peers or further along than you, they can help you along the way. Letting go of the negative energy in the form of toxic relationships will put you ahead of the game as well. Without energy vampires draining your momentum, you’re going to feel more assured, determined, uplifted, all the feels.
You may already have a few inner-circle worthy people, and that’s amazing! Seek out someone who can be a mentor to you ask well, so you’re not only supported emotionally but also challenged to take it to the next level. Uplevel your 5. Just see where it takes you.