Updated: Apr 1, 2019
Power Button Life Podcast Episode 2 for full story.
...So I had reached my boiling point with this manager and the mean customers and I was going to do something. Now, some people get a haircut or a sassy new outfit, I didn’t have the money or the ability to do that (we had uniforms)
But what I could do was buy my first. Ever. tube. of red lipstick. This was HUGE for me. I come from a super conservative background. Like, your girl wasn’t allowed to wear make up until I was a teenager and at that point it was always very natural looking, couldn’t pierce my ears until I was 12, wasn’t allowed to dance with boys, couldn’t do co-ed swimming, my clothes were primarily hand-me-downs.
So when I stood in a CVS with a gift card (thanks Ellen [got it as an audience gift on her show!]) And looked at all the bright shades of lipstick, my heart my racing. It was like electricity shot through my body when I selected the truest, most classic bombshell red in the line.
I checked out and I couldn't wait for my next shift.
I put on my neck to toe black uniform, did my hair, and swiped on the red lipstick. Walking down the boulevard was interesting. I got some attention I certainly wasn’t used to. Walking in, I did the same things I always do. Said hello, went to my locker, put my things away, clocked in, went to my station, and started checking out customers. At the end of my shift the weirdest thing happened. We always closed with multiple managers. As we counted down the drawers, one manager (one that I really liked working with) actually commented… or complimented me, really. She said that I was handling the register and customers completely differently today. More confident. Well, spoken, and so on.
The funniest thing was, I honestly didn’t feel like I was behaving any different. Maybe I was subconsciously, but I didn't feel that way. I felt like me, just with red lipstick.
I really liked the boost though, so it became a staple of my look.
I wish I could tell you that the mean manager totally switched up her attitude. She didn’t, but because I carried myself with a new attitude (a little bit of laissez-faire) I did sense a change in the dynamic. I stopped caring if she liked me; I came to the conclusion that I would be courteous and give her a high-vibe space when she was around me, but I wasn’t offering a hand to her anymore.
Because I changed my own attitude, I think it changed how I approached her and that relationship. I disconnected from needing her to like me and being upset that she didn’t want to get to know me.
I know that was her hang up; there could be many reasons for it. Although I don’t condone mistreating people, I can now at this point in my life, stand in a place and recognize that I have power over my own energy and I offer it out and sometimes I have to protect it.
I’m not saying that appearance or material things is what gives you confidence. Because they do not. If you think they do, you’ll pour a lot of money and effort down the drain. I am simply letting you peek into my life and sharing this moment with you. I can actually pinpoint the event in my life when I had my first self-confidence moment. For me, it was lipstick that helped.
For you, it could be a wonderful book that helps, or a friend who offers you a listening ear or support, or a mentor you found on Instagram or Pinterest who you really look up to and admire. It could be a movement you’re passionate about, a piece of news, a new person in your life, or someone’s energy leaving your world (like for me, when I chose not to assign value to that manager’s energy, and I let it go, and I mentally put my own mental health and well being above caring if she liked me. I separated myself. I let that energy leave my life.)
Self confidence is an everyday decision. You have to invest in yourself first. Whatever that looks like for you, be it Meditating for 5 minutes, preparing coffee or tea, reading a personal development book, not touching social media or looking at the news until 10 am, setting boundaries. These are all important things for your mental health (and by the way, they really help productivity too!) Some days you’re gonna to feel invisible, some days you’re not. You have to show up on the days you’re not anyway and work towards moments that refuel you. Know what keeps your energy high and only allow yourself to do those things for 10 minutes or an hour. Use your time to your advantage. If you’re going through your day at half-energy, taking 10 or 15 minutes or even an hour to realign and power backup is going to drastically increase your productivity!