How to Find Balance Between Flow and Tension

Updated: May 10, 2020

There is a major discussion currently happening in personal development circles that coaches people to tap into "what feels easy." For anyone searching for their purpose or gift in life, this mantra is paradigm-shifting.

All too often our purpose is hidden in plain sight, cloaked in a shroud of simplicity and under-appreciation. Exploring "what feels easy" offers validation to your natural-born abilities and permission to explore what sets your soul on fire. However, there is a fine line you must discover if you're on the road to self improvement. "Do what feels easy" is a great starting point, but if your goal is to up-level and continue to improve, then there is an element of discomfort you must endure, too.

There is that "messy middle" part of your personal development journey when you are trying to figure out what are the right and wrong moves.

What should your intentions be? What is your calling? What is the path forward?

Well, contemporary wisdom would point you to what comes naturally to you. Once you come into alignment with your natural abilities (what comes easily to you), there is a period of experimentation. You need to play around with your gift to understand how to use it and expand it to impact others. There is a sweet spot where you are in flow. Your energy meshes up with your purpose and for a while, things are blissful and high-vibe.

But then you come to a fork in the road, a decision, a opportunity, a circumstance that creates tension. Your newly trained self most likely wants to tai chi right past the friction. Afterall, you just found a new level of clarity and acceptance with the "keep it easy" bit of advice. Why would you go disrupting that?

This is the part it gets tricky.

You find your purpose in Ease.
You find your impact in the Tension.

It is a gift to understand yourself and appreciate yourself through Heaven's eyes. The alignment brings peace and awareness, but that is not the goal. Simply understanding your strength is not the end of road. When you've found your divinely appointed gift, now there is a duty to use it to impact others. And that is probably going to require you to step outside of your comfort zone into some dangerous territory.

All of a sudden you'll go from comfortable calm to somethings painful stretching.

Wait a minute, you think to yourself. Aren't I supposed to be seeking ease and flow? Doesn't that mean Calm? If this new territory is difficult, is it really what I am supposed to be what I am doing? If it doesn't come naturally to me, does that mean it isn't for me?

When encountering Tension, you must weigh the opportunity. I am a huge supporter of jouraling. It is a freeing way to reflect and guide yourself through prayer and meditation. You will find that if the Tension provides a new higher level to the impact you can have with your gift, it is likely a blessed choice. In this new arena of discomfort, you can feel a gambit of emotions. Anything from heartache to frustration, panic to loneliness.

But the state of discomfort alone doesn't mean you should avoid it. Trying new things, doing things that scare you, becoming your next-level version is never easy. But once you do the thing, you tap into new wells of resourcefulness, strength, and purpose. Without Tension, there is no growth. There is no Impact.

This reminds me of the Old Testament story of Moses. If you're unfamiliar or have never seen the film The Prince of Egypt, Moses was a baby born to Hebrew slaves during the time of the Pharaohs in Egypt. He was adopted a Pharaoh's daughter, saved from certain death. As an adult, he would lead the Hebrews out of slavery, as the mouthpiece of God. Moses protested. He didn't want to lead. He was a bad speaker and knew he wasn't the one for the job. But ultimately that didn't matter. Because Moses walked through the tension and trusted God, the people were freed.

Here is a journaling prompt to begin your reflection during times of Tension:

What comes naturally to me?

What sets my heart on fire?

Does this opportunity or decision lead me closer to my gift?

Does this opportunity or decision allow me to reach a new level with my gift?

Doe s this opportunity or decision allow me to impact others with my gift?

Once you decide you're ready for the next step, get your yoga pants on. You're about to be stretched.

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